


i don't know how someone controlled you

by lady_gt



Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Angst and Porn, M/M, Post-Canon, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24145225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_gt/pseuds/lady_gt
Summary: It's a walk down an unfamiliar path that makes Mat remember.
Relationships: Rand al'Thor/Mat Cauthon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	i don't know how someone controlled you

"Let's stop for a moment."

Rand's voice comes through crystal-clear even in the commotion of Whitebridge. Mat knows what he means when he says he wants to stop for a moment - they've done this so many times before it's practically ritual for them, routine. So they duck into an alleyway and Mat seizes his hand, sweaty fingers slipping up against Rand's. Even if Whitebridge seems safe (they aren't entirely alone) Mat still feels a twinge of fear in his chest. He knows how much Rand likes feeling their hands slipped together, but back then it was different. Back then they held hands when it was safe.

(They'll go back to before, right? They'll head home someday, things will go back to normal. Right?)

He has Rand pressed up against the roughness of the brick wall, ducking his head downwards to suck lightly at the skin of his neck. Mat's always liked the noises Rand makes: Delicate, muffled whines that climb in pitch and leave him rock-hard in a matter of moments. He's so malleable in their small moments of intimacy, eager to be touched and toyed with, even if it's only for a moment.

"Light," Rand forces out when Mat pulls his head away. He observes the marks forming on Rand's neck. His marks, he'll proudly tell Perrin, his handiwork.

"We have to stay quiet." Mat tries to keep his voice cooing, comforting. They don't speak, Rand bringing a hand up to his mouth and biting his knuckles to stay quiet. He lets his other hand drift over to rest on Mat's shoulder, sucking in a gasp as Mat slips his hand into his pants and smallclothes.

He leaves handprints all over Mat when he pulls down his pants and smallclothes to just above his knees and begins to touch, spindly fingers wrapping at and stroking his cock. There's a part of Mat that wonders if someone will find them here later on (it hasn't happened before and Mat wishes that it wouldn't) but that's all drowned out by the feeling of Rand pliable beneath him, trying to shrink up against the wall and lean into Mat at the same time.

"Does that feel alright? Do you need me to stop?" He delivers another nip to Rand's neck. This could be the last time, Mat thinks, they. may not live another day after this. 

"It feels good." Rand's voice comes out small.

Mat strokes his other hand across Rand's bare thighs and waist, earning a soft and steady stream of curses from Rand's mouth. He closes his eyes, feeling the redhead shake beneath him - he pretends that they only have each other, nothing more and nothing less.

"Blood and bloody ashes," Rand hisses out.

"Language." Mat returns to nipping at his neck. For every bite he leaves, every touch to Rand's straining cock he gets a response. Sometimes it's noise: Exquisite, delicious noise, Rand pleading and moaning high and soft against his eager ears, a sound Mat hears so often already but one he'd like to keep for as long as he can. The other response he gets is Rand grabbing hold of his shoulder with one trembling hand, digging his nails into Mat's skin through his shirt and leaving neat little marks beneath. Mat enjoys it when Rand leaves those marks, too: Not everyone's able to see them but he'll feel them throbbing on his skin for days on end, and he likes that too.

"It's okay, Rand," he whispers. "It's okay. Let go."

There comes another trilling little whine. "Mat-"

"Let go if you want. Let go for me. It's alright."

(They may die the next, day, Mat thinks. But they'll at least be reminded of each other. Rand will have those bite marks the rest of the day and for the next and until they fade, all to serve as a reminder that he's Mat's. Mat will not do anything about the spots where Rand's hands clamped down on him, where his nails dug into his skin. He'll keep them again as a reminder that he is Rand's and no one else's. That's not going to change, they'll still belong to one another till the journey is finished and when they're back home. The parts where Rand grabs hold of him hurts, and Mat likes it that way. It's because it hurts that he feels so alive.)

Rand seizes up beneath Mat. Pleasure-pain courses through him and he feels Rand come, wet on his hand. He reaches away from Rand to balance on the rough brick wall for support, feeling grit scratchy and scraping beneath his palms. Rand's breath hits warm against his skin for a moment and he feels Rand lean on him for a form of support. It was quick and not completely painless, but it felt good in spite of - or, Mat supposes, maybe because - of it.

* * *

It's years later - after Shai'tan, after Rand al'Thor - when Mat stops by an alleyway. It's different than the one he saw in Whitebridge, but he can remember the phantom pain of Rand digging his nails into his skin.

He presses a hand up to the brick of the wall and closes his eyes, forcing himself to remember. He pretends that there's some kind of mark there that they left here, not in a city called Whitebridge. He can't feel Rand's presence against the wall or the marks left by his nails.

He can never feel them again.

**Author's Note:**

> tbh, mat/rand isnt my favorite ship - i do LIKE it and can see why it appeals so much to people, but asmodean/rand is the OTP (tm) i was actually gonna write fluffy asmodean/rand porn but this happened aND I OOP
> 
> anyways they've got a beautiful relationship either way that i wanted to write about here hghbfbdbg


End file.
